Thats really really good... and i can tottaly relate to it in all aspects

Wow, this is really good writing.

Really good.
And so sad..

5/5

Wow really good brilliant rythem and easy to follow good structure

well done

Wow! these hit me the most:

"Your burning whispers
I've fallen into your grasp
And I'm withering away
Your desire to keep me thin
Leaves you, my Anna
Singing melodies of torture"

You must have really felt something deep when you wrote this because it's awesome. It breathes anger and sorrow to me, especially the torture part. It makes me think that you felt wronged or in pain from an experience with someone. 5/5

Perfect poem,but i can say a lil bit too angry,as i have wide imagination ;D

my best part was
Your hands on my body
They make me feel disgusted
As your humming desires
Cut me open once more
Bleeding deeply inside
I still feel you inside me

Don't eat
Don't eat

it has some sad parts,btw i can imagine this poem to be sung as a song . 5/5

Very good its kinda sad but i really liked it great work!

Heyy tht was really good i really lyked it thou i dnt kno wats behind it its great thou loved it 10/10

This is incredible. I totally understand where your coming from through this.

Erm. 'With false tense of lyrics' I'm not even sure what that's meant to mean.

The don't eat don't eat barely works because it has no relevance until the end, it just looks non sequitur.

Thirdly, please brush up on your spelling - Achilles HEEL. Heal is a verb, not a noun.

Now you repeat lullaby, but it looks like you just love the word lullaby instead of using it for effect. You keep mentioning bleeding hearts, tears from the heart etc. this is really overdone and boring I'm afraid, and doesn't make for a very good poem.

The like the final verse a lot but you could have changed that refrain of don't eat to something else for more punch - my eyes just started skipping over those like 'm'kay, boring'.

The third stanza's pretty good too, escept the 'make me feel disgusted; is a bit brutal and not very lyrical - you could replace it with something more poetic to avoid breaking the flow you've got going.

I don't like the "don't eat", as they are totally irrelevant until the end, and even then, they spoil the ending. I suggest something different each time; a new idea to bring something new to the poem after every stanza.

Some good words, some bad, like any poem. Some syntax problems that are difficult to dicipher.
"Your words of love
Make me believe they're true"
While this is pleasing to the tongue when spoken, it makes little sense. 'I love you.' You believe these words of love are true because they are words of love? I'd rethink this.
"Wish me goodnight once more
To my tears from my heart"
I wish you goodnight again, to the tears from your heart. I have a hard time understanding this. It sounds nice, but when you really read into it, it's very strange. My best advice would be to change [from] to [of]. It's not much better, but it's the best I could think of right now.
"They make me feel disgusted"
Me too. Change that.
"I still feel you inside me"
Bluntly put, but maybe that's your intention. I'm not sure on this one.

It's not all bad. There are some very nice words here, like "tortuous task" (alliteration!), "false tense of lyrics", "sullen lullaby", "humming desires", "burning whispers", etc. Just pay attention to certain phrases and try to look at them from the reader's point of view.

Like Krathia I do not understand the relevance of the don't eat chorus at the end of each stanza, it breaks up the flow of a very good poem, I don't know if you were giving us a pause to ponder but I don't think it works. We all make basic mistakes with words and what Krathia points out if corrected could make this poem great. If you need help ask and I will give you some ideas but I don't know were the poem is coming from so its best if you add your own sentiments. The poem certainly gets over you message. Read it again and edit it and you will I am sure see the points raised by Krathia. Ray S 5/5

"burning whispers
I've fallen into your grasp
And I'm withering away
Your desire to keep me thin
Leaves you, my Anna
Singing melodies of torture". It really saddened me that so many young girl are in this situation where they see food and eating like their enemies. I Must tell you that eating is a pleasure and food gave us this pleasure. STOP THINKING that eating makes one got fat, NO,it does not, but eating too much of unbalance food might make one became overweight. I use the word might, but genetic plays a veryimportant role. AGAIN,eat and never savour the pleasure of food, kel

The personification of an affliction with an alluring free flow which captures the imagination

well done

Now that is it and your poem is a great poem. It has it all a clear flow path, pace and I now actually think I understand what your message is. I am curious do you think it flows better and the end statement is now slamming out your crisis message. I do wish at times that friends and folks would accept us as we are not as what they want us to be. Especially those that say they love you, don't they know their remarks hurt us the most. Keep them coming, a big 5/5. Ray S

Great poem! It was fantastically written! I hope this isn't a life experience for you, and if it is, I'm awfully sorry and I'm here if you want to chat.
As for the poem, the structure was asy to follow and it was quite descriptive. As many people have commented before me, I also did not like the "don't eat" at the end. It might mean something deep or whatever, but I definately didn't see it.
Also, "Into my Achilles heel" sounds..out of place I think. I know it's supposed to be dreadfully painful, but putting it in this poem just didn't seem right for the mood of it. Other than that, it was a good write, and keep it up. =] 4/5

xoxo TR

This is something I'm really not familiar with, and I feel for you because the pain seems unbearable. Very emotional and moving poem, and I hope the best for you.

Very well written. Thought you could possibly make the words flow a little more? Overall great emotion and creativity

I rlly liked it but... idk i feel like your holding back a lil on what you could be showing us. it was a very good poem though

I can really connect with this. I am utterly speechless. This is one of the most amazing poems I have ever read. This is a very moving and emotionally expressive poem. Simply fantastic.