That Child

Sourav :) that was a very good message to be delivered in a poem.
I somehow didn't like your last stanza..I don't know it didn't feel poetic to me..
your punctuations are way too overly used..

"He begs to you and you beg him to get lost
Then you may think about the society
And the poverty that disturbs you
But that little child does know nothing about society
He doesn't know the definition of the poverty, only -
He knows the fire that is burning inside his stomach -
Like a revolution."
^ I liked this stanza best..though you didn't need the "and" in the first line.

"Crawling in the dirt, taking a bite from a rotten bread
Still hunger burns inside like revolution
Taking the blazing sun on the head
Rambles in our street is no one
But just a young child."
^ I thought this was a good for a prelude, pretty eye catchy and capturing.

Over all..a good poem :)
write on!

What a powerful message. I didn't care for the repetition of revolution the fourth time. An overuse of unnecessary filler words as well. I removed a couple below or changed the line at the end of your line to show you what I am talking about.

Crawling in the dirt, taking a bite from rotten bread - eating rotten bread or taking bites from rotten bread. If he was starving, would he onlytake one bite?
Still hunger burns inside like revolution
Taking the blazing sun on the head
Rambles in our street are no one
just a young child.

He raises his hand to me
And I turn my head elsewhere, just like you
He follows you like an obstinate cacoethes
As life follows him like a shadow of death.

He begs to you, you beg him to get lost
Then you may think about society
the poverty that disturbs you
that little child does know nothing about society - that child knows nothing about society
He doesn't know the definition of the poverty, - Not the definition of poverty
He only knows the fire that is burning inside his stomach -
Like a revolution.

Fear the hunger; fear the revolution; respect that child.
Someday he can snatch your bread
and the money from your hand
You'll realise he's not alone-
many hungry eyes are following you

Someday revolution can come out from the book
to destroy you; but - I would remove this line or change the wording and not use revolution again.

Be calm; be patient; be happy;

It's just a poem, isn't it?
You'll forget it soon after reading this -
Once again the same street, that same child with the hunger, that same hungry child
And the same you - with your privileged inhumanity.

Powerful and thought provoking. Many times things we take for granted like basic necessities are those things children search for in desperation unnoticed. How sad. Great job bringing this subject to light.

Sourav,

No, it's not just a poem...a small area of this vast world is occupied by people who have food and a roof over their heads and sometimes more...but the majority of our world population is poor or even on the verge of starvation..imagine being a small child with the intellectual capacity to understand upfront he has no future and will probably die far, far before it's time....
I hope one day people will open their eyes and realize we are responsible for our brothers and sisters and we all deserve to have the bare necessities to survive.

Great poem, I hope I still have a vote left!

Take care,

5/5 Ingrid

He doesn't now the definition of the poverty, only -

^^

now = know

This broke my heart when i think of these children. As a mother, it is my hope that all children have a roof over their heads, food to eat, proper health care, and a family who offers love to them. I might be a dreamer, but i think we all can do something about this. Sometimes i saw these children pictures in news paper, i wonder of the journalist and photographs who done these pictures if those children got any benefits from those publications.
Very interesting and touching write, 5/5, kel.

Powerful write brother, very deep and meaningful piece. Though nowdays compassion has lost its meaning but i am really glad to see such words still coming in such beautiful way.
Beautiful indeed.

all the best and take care