This is well written, I liked the consistency of the tone and the use of the weather as a tool to further depict the feelings of the persona.

'The clouds made shapes,
which I could not distinguish.'

The way you used the weather to narrate this piece was thought provoking, and not at all tiring - sometimes when we get a consistent theme, it becomes predictable but each image adds something new. Like the ambiguity of shape in the clouds, and the 'tempest' saying more than 'storm' ever would. Loved the word choice. Spot on.

'when you're heart disunited.'

Minor mistake with 'you're', which should be 'your'.

'The canopy destroyed
leaving us vulnerable.'

Not so keen on the last line, since you showed through most of the poem, and it sticks out that you simply tell us here. You could use an image which depicts the vulnerability, since the image proceeding it could have been expanded a bit.

'..and so it rained. '

Loved the immediacy of this.

'You wore a snowsuit
within the desert,
an Indian summer
was to facilitate pain.'

First two lines caught me off guard a bit here, I wasn't sure if it fitted, I just found it a bit disquieting between the images before and after it. 'facilitate pain' was brilliant, and the reference to the Indian summer worked really well.

'I was a mirage
in tropic weather,'

Probably my favourite bit, excellent, next to the final couplet which was a strong ending.

You revealed everything with skill and originality here, really impressed; great write. :)

Mel, you are literally amazing!
First of all, your preludes are always catchy, I swear that poem I read for you "Propaganda" the first two lines are still stuck in my mind lol.

"You wore a snowsuit
within the desert,
an Indian summer
was to facilitate pain."
^Could you please explain this stanza more? I think I get it but I just want to make sue.

"It was a hailstorm
when your heart disunited.
The canopy destroyed
leaving us vulnerable.

..and so it rained. "
^ This is amazing, I can't describe how this made me feel, you did such a good job with this part..and I swear you took me to a different world with this piece.

Know that I'm a big big fan of your poems :) and I really love how you word them, though I always need a dictionary while reading them hehe.
Your last stanza was exquisite, you do know how to control the poem, while lots of us make the poem controls us :)

Write on beautiful =)

The image you created here in this sad yet beautiful piece will last for a long time in the mind of all who read it.Your choice of words very descriptive and the depth and meaning well portrayed.
A beautiful piece indeed.An enjoyable read.
Paul...

Congrats!
Well deserved. :]

So here I stand,
indignant by self
offering you the sun
in a box of sorry.
^^^
Mel I don't know whether to smile for the beauty of this last stanza or cry for the beauty of it. I think I am experiencing both at the same time.

I love how you always draw me into your poetry wit your first words ...

Your writes are always so unique and fresh and such a pleasure to read.

Wonderful word usage in this piece, great read Mel !

Congrats on the win also, very deserving of the front pages ~hugs~

I love your word choice and the unique structure of this piece. Excellent job on this well deserved win!

Pure poetry....

I am sitting here absolutely stunned, first that it took me so long to read this amazing piece, secondly the pure beauty of it all..I cannot pick out a favorite part, it is all so well put together, to say I am in awe is a complete understatement.
"offering you the sun
in a box of sorry"..I echo the sentiment of Luanne, dont know whether to cry or bask in the glow of such an exuiste piece. This is going on my fave poems list for sure. Timothy r