The Peripetia Of Love

You know what? I loved this poem. I'm really a big fan of short poems that say so much in so few words. I don't think it ended abruptly. I think it is perfect the way it is. And I feel for you, I'm going through the same torment.

I don't think anyone can understand the peripetia of love :P I can't anyways. Anyways, your poem.

I think this is a very gorgeous, short, and simple. I just got done reading this incredibly intense, crazy vocab poem. And then going and reading something like this is very relaxing and I don't feel like my brain is going to fall out. Ha! This is also very unique. It's cute and simple....oh wait....and THEN I read on and I read "Drinking my own blood" And that was unexpected! I like it. The reader gets surprised by the plot o your piece.

I still can't force myself
to understand.
The peripetia of love.
One day you say 'till the world's end.
Next day
walking on my heart's veins.

^I like the opening. It get's right to the point. It doesnt have an intro...it just goes right to the point. I like it. It's different :)

Drinking my own blood.
I'm watching how you're going away
from me.
Reminiscing the sound of your steps.
Familiar scent of your hair
when the wind touches it.

^I like the closing as well. It starts with the point and then it ends with an emotional spill at the end. I like it. It's very unique and it gets the point out. Excellent piece! Anytime you want me to check out anymore of your poems just let me know :)
5/5
<3Loni

This poem ends abruptly. you should add a little more to it. the way the person u see walk away remind u of things like their smell and stuff like that and i like how u described that

over all good job