Unintended

Aw, this is great. It has a lot of emotion and power in it. The word choice was great along with the title. I love the little sections in brackets, I think it adds to the poem. The encouraging words from the lover, it's great.

Five out of five.

An evolution for you Krista, you're getting better.

'Walk along dreary, grey streets,
find your way through humanity.'

'Humanity' is the wrong word to use here, streets suggest confinement. Humanity is a much broader subject, so it doesn't fit.

'Struggling through the masses,
scarring emotions and mentality.'

'masses' is much better, though 'scarring emotions' was a bit of a jump, put that into a sentence.

'Struggling through the masses, scarring emotions and mentality'. What emotions and mentality? Be more specific.

'[Darling, just a few more steps,
and we shall meet again..]'

Sweet :) not a fan of 'darling' here but the rest is fine.

'Superficial smiles blare past,
lies unraveling as you walk.
Tears mixing with ashen faces,
ignore the brutality and pain.'

This is too overdramatic, namely the last two lines. How can lies unravel as someone walks? You're too vague here. If you took away the last line you could mix it up to better explain what you're trying to get across here. 'brutality and pain' was a definite no no.

'[Just a little bit longer,
you aren't far away..]'

Adding tension though, I like it :)

'Run along familiar avenues,
rich with the light of dusk.
My eyes' flames burn bright,
guiding your way back to me.'

Get rid of familiar as it adds security and your piece is thriving on tension. So replace that.
The third line was a bit clumsy, perhaps its the structure. I got what you were trying to say but it's a bit messy.

'[You're my unintended lover,
an unintended friend.]'

Could have been a stronger ending, especially the last line. It needs more impact, it's disappointing cause it doesnt really have a conclusion.

Regardless of what I've said, it's a better write from you. Just needs more direction.

Wow this poem certainly deserves credits. You have managed to fuse all the winning elements in this poem from the rhyme scheme to the structure of the story within the poem. This poem is far from the cliche love poems which i've read.

Run along familiar avenues,
rich with the light of dusk.
My eyes' flames burn bright,
guiding your way back to me.

^^^ This stanza really stood out for me. I like how you describe the atmosphere in the 2nd line.Awesome

[You're my unintended lover,
an unintended friend.]

^^^ An absolutely beautiful ending

Overall i was realy impressed with this piece.Keep it up

Excellent Job
5/5

I found this poem to be extremely different from what you usually write, but actually I enjoyed it very much. The form used here was great and your poem flowed nice. I have no favorite stanza really.. I thought all of it was very well written! Keep it up Krista! :]

5/5.

Temps

Dear Krista,

Within these words you have captured how empty and lonely and cold the world feels, when you haven't got that special someone...I am glad that in the end you did find him!

You are evolving and your poems are getting better every time I read them:) I still loveeee that one about the storm, I could see it all in front of me. You are a great storyteller, sweetie:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid