I liked this poem and felt that it was done really nicely. I felt that the flow was really well at certain points.

This is a really well done poem. I think that it should be something that you are very proud of.

This poem is well done but the Structure is really off in points and as well it has some flow issues.

I enjoyed that and felt that if i was able to put that aside that it was definitly an excellent write.

Very well done.

This is a very original approach to the metaphysical mysteries and it makes sense to me and I suppose anyone willing to explore its depth

Well written, I enjoyed reading this

I love the comparison of gravity to satan. This p oem makes so much sense and i love it! Great job!

Very well written. 5/5 I cant seem to find the right words on your poem. It's so good.

Rather than left in a void of just thought,
and no one to call your son.
Intel we are trapped in the black hole of life
will infinite suns have won.

*This was my favorite part. The wording you use here is so powerful. I really loved this poem. Your ideas are so creative. I know that I won't find anothe poem like it. You have amazing diction and the flow is perfect. You ideas and thoughts are clearly expresed and convey alot of emotions as well. Very nice work. ^.^ Nik*

Simply perhaps... Which at first was a contradiction

As your poem which took me at least six attempts to get my head around before I realised how clever, then I read it again and realise how good, there is so much in here that makes so much sense if you take the time to engage your brain not easy at 7 in the morning. I really enjoyed the wisdom and thought provoking stanzas in this but I don't agree with your concept of Satan being matter and gravity as this is a contradiction to my religious upbringing though I do believe he is capable of taking up any form his evilness wants of him to. 5/5 Ray S

This was a very interesting piece; however your rhyming pattern is a bit over the place. I still love the complexity of this well penned piece..

Good Job

That was very creatively done. its contents made me ponder foe a while and got me started seeing other things composed me and everything that is around me. You have a very extremely imaginative mind that is able to make the non existent to real. keep up the good work..

Indeed, your poem did make me think, and thus your claim is justified =] your thoughts are deep, and the imagery created in this poem is vivid. I have to say you think almost beyond the boundaries of thought, of many.
My favourite stanza:

So in gravity's hold, on earth I trod,
In the vastness of sand, snow, sleet and sod.
And as you may think my thoughts are odd,
Go ahead and ask, and I will nod.
I do believe its a gift from GOD.

^^i love every single line of this stanza, beautiful, simply beautiful. the alliteration in line 2 is awesome, the rhyming and flow seem simply natural!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this beautiful poem! your thoughts are somewhat out of the ordinary, but interesting neverthless, and you have penned them into this poem, quite artistically.
Well done, don't stop writing.
MEZi x

I am not sure what to say about this poem. It is fantastic in it's delivery, and the thoughts within it are fancful. I enjoyed about a thousand times more then I thought I would. I started, and couldn't stop. Wonderful job. The only thing really was the flow is off at the times where it didn't ryhme, such as the second and third stanzas. Wonderful job.

Peace and prosperity,

(RKD)

"Simply perhaps..."

I really like how you added this contradiction, it held my attention.

"But Satan blind to the simple fact,
that thought wont fade away."

First line- "is" should be placed after "Satan". I think that is what you are trying to say.

Second line- "the" should be placed after "that".

Second line- "wont" should be "won't".

"Rather than left in a void of just thought,
and no one to call your son.
Intel we are trapped in the black hole of life
will infinite suns have won."

Last line- "will" should be "where". It would sound a lot better. Otherwise, nicely described, this was well- written.

Overall, a fantastic write. The flow was a bit off but you expressed your true thoughts well. This was a very thought-provoking write and you did a good job. Take care and keep writing, always and forever..

~MaryAnne

Wow a very powerful and captivating poem the structure is good very well written the rythem is very smooth and on folwing but on the 6th stanza theres to much rhyming it seems almost forced i liked the opening very intresting i liked it alot and the last stanza needs a period but apart from that fantastic

well done 5/5

Dear Boy... I am overwhelmed. That was a truly thought provoking piece of literature. Wonderful word choice in each line. Am adding this to my faves. Very indepth. It was almost like a snake weaving itself around each thought you wrote. Pulling the reader into your frame of mind. If that makes any sense to you.

Again, let me say. Brilliant.

Jeannie
aka Twisted Heart

It all makes so much sense to me, course I wrote it. lol. I would be thrilled if I could get a prospective from you on the parts that confuse or make little sense to ya. I always wonder if people get it.

tell ya what.... Im going to go read another one of your poems. And if you like to continue this poem review swapping. on the next round you read of mine. Just Re read Matter and Gravity. Make a few notes to your self on what confused u. Ill count that at another read of my work and thus, Read another of your great Poems. Have a favorite, you would like me to understand and Review?

Randy

Some readers comment on spelling, grammer, and structure. Good intentions indeed, BUT...what about the POEM? This poem is awsome. I wish I had your talent, or even part of it. This piece has power, and strong thought. Don't stop writing.

I will have to agree with Mr Rhee on the fact that the POEM as a whole was amazing. I guess you made a couple of changes, but they were good ones. As reading, I became even more and more intrigued. I think that the structure was on point; but the flow could use just a tad bit work. But overall, wonderfull job.
5/5
--Kay Jay

I like the fact that your poems take some effort and their not just scribbled down garbage like a lot of stuff I see on this site. My poems take time and effort and when you read them you can tell right away much like your work. I laugh how people get 5/5 on 4 line poems that take 3 seconds to write and are so easy a child could rival them. Anyways great work again these poems make you think and wonder whats really beyond all we see everyday. Its hard to imagine nothing, but at times even harder to imagine so much more. Great job 5/5

Wow, I'm speechless. That was absolutely phenomenal. That's the kind of poem I wish I could write my friend. Not just the subject matter, but the style with which you did it was near perfection. Your internalization of ideas and the seamless flow from idea to idea...that was just awesome. 5/5, without a doubt.

p.s. I really like the tone and idea of this poem

Another fantastically clever poem by you, Randy.
Technically, your poem presents a great insight into this world that we find ourselves in.
Very clever writing indeed here, as is all your poems,
Brilliant write!

Randy, I love how you put your deep thoughts into a poem. I too have thought about this subject, but more in negitive and postive energy balancing out to create form. As you know, Moana is my favorite animation movie and that is why I chose my nick name to be Oceanloveisland. It relates to Positive-balance-Negitive. or as you put it Good-Matter-Evil and to be reduntant...Dad-Child-Mother.

I love you brother.