She's perfect, she's lovely
it's just what they say
and she looks in the mirror
but she doesn't see the same
Great way to open the poem, I love the idea ^.^
broken mirrors, bloodied glass
shattered glass, can't look back
in the mirrors, all they show
lies that never should be told
Again, a great stanza, but you use ‘glass’ twice in two lines and it kind of breaks the flow, try using a different word instead.
never was and never will be
it's the only thing she sees
perfect silhouettes in shadows
scribbled faces, a fake disease
wow, this stanza is beautiful, especially the last two lines. Amazing imagery, to me it seems like you’re talking about anorexia like a fake disease and scribbled faces being like she’s drawn out what she want to look like in her mind or something.
Beautiful
The only thing I would change is in the second line try adding one more word, it just seems a little bit too short to me…try “It’s the only thing she –ever- seesâ€
doesn't love, doesn't hate
only numb to painted worlds
mirror mirror hide the faces
she's not coming home tonight...
Great way to end the poem, “painted worlds†is a great metaphor and the last two lines again are beautiful, this has to be my favourite part of the poem <3
The way you didn’t use punctuation or capitalization kind of gives it a more simple kind of new, bright feeling to it…which is a good thing. I like it.
I’m defiantly going to read more of your poetry I love your style.
~ RayLeen 5/5