Temps:)

Well, I think it's better to be humble than to be arrogant. In your words I can see a girl being insecure about herself, am I right?

It's good to share what you feel inside, because then people will start to tell you, you are not alone in what you feel:)

Good job in portraying your emotions, girlie:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

Woot new poem from you!

The title was a bit bland and didnt really catch my eye but after reading the poem I can see where you got it from.

"Oh, how they seem so crystal clear,
through eyes that have experienced
[a lifetime of ups and downs]"
^I don't see the point of the brackets here because it doesnt really put a significant emphasis on anything...jus continues the sentence you had before it.

"Crystal clear"
^ a bit cliche but I can see where you were going to.

"Hope sprinkles in vast amounts,
yets slides through her fingers..."
^Dang girl I loved that! Has to be one of the best lines you have written. I could feel the pain you were expressing of having hope in your view but not being able to grab hold of it and watching as it slips away. Thats truly heartbreaking and you expressed it nicely. Great job! I loved this.

"leaving the soul yearning for positivity."
^After that amazing line...this disappointed me. "leaving the soul yearning" is a bit cliche for me as well and youre at that stage in poetry that you could have said the same thing but varying your word choice. I didnt like "positivity" at all. The word just didn't fit...maybe try optimism"

"...while negativity rings in her ears,"
^I didn't like "negativity" either. Try replacing it with another word.

"and departs from her lips,
more flaws appear. "
^I loved the "departs from her lips" and I think the poem would be complete if you stopped it right there. The "more flaws appear" didnt do anything for me so I dont think you need it. Just my opinion.

I know you're hurting hun and it seems like every time you look into the mirror, all you see is the flaws but that solely stands on your shoulders. You choose what you see. Once you get your bright attitude back then all this pessimism will just float away like a dream. If you sit and stare picking at everything you dont like, all youre gonna do is bring yourself more down and you dont need that. You need yourself to see all the good and brighten up your mood. At this point youre your own worst enemy when you should be your best friend.

I'm happy to see you writing again. :]

Ahh i love this =]
love love love x 23579837523

We all at times overlook the beauty that we have within. I think society causes us to see the supposed flaws on the outside and blinds our eyes to internal beauty. Well done.

I like your word choice and the message in this piece. I do not care for the structure of just having couplets standing alone and then a stanza then a couplet........I would have rather seen it as a couple stanza structure. Nice job though!

I can fully relate to this poem. It's hard to hold onto happiness when the flows no one can see become noticeable to yourself. But sometimes they can be seen like you put here. And they are thought to be beautiful. It's hard to describe in words how much our flaws make us suffer. They render some of us immobile. Causing others to maintain a certain stability. We always tell ourselves we need to change. In little ways or even big ways. But do we truly ever change in truth? We might start to conquer our fears. And live life with optimism. But being pessimistic sometimes is natural. We cannot always hope to be hopeful. There are times when pity and remorse take a hold. However it is the one with strength that will pull through. An true optimistic individual always regains their senses. I loved this poem as well. I am adding it to my favorites. And you to my favorite authors. Great piece.

5/5

-FeignOctober

Flaws**
xD