Days (Double Musette)

This is so well penned Sylvia...
loved the analogy here...
when we wake up we dnt know how the day is going to turn out... but still we strive to make it happy... whether sunshine or dark clouds...

beautiful write...

Sylvia,

A double musette! I like it when a short form is repeated to write a longer poem.

Sun shines
this fine morning,
divine.
^
Shines/ fine/ devine..I like the way these sound together. Maybe the last word devine could be given more emphasis, like someone stepping back in awe of this glorious morning. Maybe a full stop after the word 'morning' so this would give it a bigger pause, just an idea?

The world
begins to stir,
unfurled.
^
I love the word 'Unfurl' like a flower opening up to bask in the morning sun - a nice metaphor for becoming awake. :)

New day
is borne for us,
to play.
^
Not sure if you meant 'Born' as in the world giving birth to a new day, or 'Borne' the world bearing the new day? I do like this verse though, the idea that this morning is a gift for all of us.

Dark skies,
thunder, lightning,
storms rise.
^
Oh, this is a change, the morning sun is soon changed, transformed to stormy weather. A lovely dark twist. It kind of reminds us that nature can not, should not be taken for granted. Like human nature it is fragile and can soon be broken if mistreated.

Rains fall,
life halts awhile,
we stall.
^
The word 'halts' is so much better than stop. To me it really gives the feeling of motion that has abruptly come to a stop. I can almost see the crowd, expecting a sunny day, now they are all in limbo.

Dreary,
this day brings us
dismay.
^
A sad ending! :(
This poem is great, IO love the way you set the reader up for a wonderful day and then steal it away, replacing it with the opposite.

Well done

Another interesting form and I like the
message behind the write. A day unfolds with
such beauty yet at times there is a sadness
that comes with it...liked the read!

A new day
Is borne for us
to play.

Wow Sylvia, this is surely one of the best poem i read lately. We really need a poem like this to lift our spirits. Loved the stanza mentioned above. Beautiful.

all the best and take care

You always seem to push the button one step further in your search for perfection my friend.You did it time and time again.This is a beautiful poem and a joy to read.
Keep up the great work.
Paul...