Insomniac arrest

What do i want? no matter how many times i ask myself all i get is static, the truth wraps

it self around me like a deflated life saver and i am a drowning girl in a sea of regret and

longing. teen aged angst can sure feel like the real deal if you close your eyes and forget

who you are, and hate is like a drug coursing through your veins snapping you back to

reality with its deafening crack of the whip of mourning for the naivety of yesterday, i

cant see through the bleary film of tears nor can i hear your voice the same way, its

distorted with lies that you don't know I'm aware of. and just as well i have lies of my own.

wishing the pain would end doesn't evoke some magic emotional Novocain nor does it stop the

torrent of unconscious obscenities flowing from my lips, not unlike the unheard banishments my

mind keeps repeating, leave leave leave. and yet you'll stay and things will remain sullen,

swollen, bitter. repression just wastes energy, maybe thats why I'm so tired. I'm not suicidal

I'm just miserable, and plagued with a sudden bout of insomnia.