Click

Amazing, Wonderful!!! I jut loved it!!! 5/5 Keep writing

A very beautiful ending to a sad but wonderful piece. I like how you set the word "click" apart from the rest of its stanza because it shows how deafening and real the gun shot would have been in a sitaution like this. Wonderful choice of words, 5/5. Em

I absolutly LOVED this poem!!

it had a great flow & understanding.. i agree with the above tho suicude is a very common topic, (i myself have done a poem on it.)
But you have worded this well & with a lot of depth, it really draws the reader into your poem.

Well done & Keep it up!
*Hunny*

What I noticed from the first stanza was that you have a great rhythm, which is super important for a new poem to have. Without natural rhythm then your pieces fall apart, so good work.
What I also noticed in the first stanza was that you NEED punctuation at the end of each line, otherwise your poem will be read as one long sentence.

With the rest of the poem, be careful in the topics you chose to write about because suicide is a very common topic, and often very boring (when you read the same style poem with the same message over and over again). But in saying that, writing is primarily whatever comes out of your mind. Another thing, you might want to look at adding a more expansive vocabulary into your poems, it'll create more depth. Also, little metaphoric phrases are always nice to read; but maybe when you've had a bit more practice at being a poet :)

This is okay, once again, I commend your rhythm and flow, you're great for a new writer. 4/5.

Wooow. This is a deep poem. I love it. I cannot relate. . . I mean i did in the beginning but when it got to the suicide part i didnt as much but its still a great poem. You are such a great writter. 5/5

"You have no idea
What you did to me
But now I can't hide it
Everyone can see

You took my happiness
And replaced it with pain
You showed me heartbreak
How could you be so vain."

I love those 2 parts!