Fluctuations of my regrets are wearing me down,
low down,
down.
when will you leave me alone?
shadows of your fingertips recline around
my secreted skeleton,
locked in the closet of my flesh.
only you knew my secrets,
which peaked out alongside my hips and collarbones,
ribs and wrists, my skin too thin
to hold them back.
but you loved my veins, that coursed and streamed
so visibly,
translucent,
you could see right through me.
our hands held so tight that bruises were
our only memories of each other,
you could always wound me with tenderness.
i need you to be strong, hurt me because you meant to,
i could never forgive an accident.
i needed to pin the blame for this ache on something,
a mistake just won't do.
but in the end i was the culprit, the contemptuous wretch
who mistook your intentions for the sake of an excuse
to fly free of your rough hands.
i meant to all along.
can you see through me now?
i've starved myself of you, and my marrow's shrunk
and withdrawn my alabaster secrets from the open air,
your open appraisal too accusatory for me to take.
our blacks and blues
are sewn up beneath
my bloody back roads and highways, my veins,
which now run thick and heavy with flushed salt.
the stitches have already begun
to fray and break, the loose threads
letting loose the truth and muted recognition.
