As memories make a distinct appearance,
shattering like shards within her mind,
none worthy of remembrance

^^^
This is such a sad statement, Temps...to feel none of it is worth remembering..

A very intense, sad poem.

Good luck on the contest sweetheart:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

I think for a title contest, the content was too close to the actual title, so there wasn't much for the reader's imagination there. You can do better than this, the language was overwrought, and the images were trite and distorted.

'Azul eyes dim to a shade of gray,
fog blinds vision as a storm of tears arrives.'

You could have revealed sadness with a bit more subtlety. The first line is too abstract, and 'storm of tears' wasn't a clear image either. It's neither metaphoric nor showing, it's sort of caught in the middle a bit. To suggest there was a lot of tears is kinda overdoing it a bit too..since the title was 'eyes never dry', you might be better off not focusing on a single moment, like you've sorta done here.

The progression of the poem was also awkward, you have a 'storm of tears', then a 'lava' image, then a 'crimson' image and the final word 'perpetual' makes it sound a bit fantasy which isn't really your intention here. Like I've said in previous comments, your narration needs to be clearer and focused, cause you can do it. But 'her' is far too overdone and all there is, is a two dimensional character who is sad. You could reveal that in a sentence. Ask yourself

Why is she sad?
What is bothering her that much to cry all the time.

You give the reader no way of entering the poem, it's a matter of getting inside the character's head. Title contests are difficult but I know you can do better than this.

Your punctuation and understanding of the English language is improving though, sorry I was gonna add that onto my other comment but I forgot. :)

Very well done. Have to say the last two lines are the best for me. Stormy eyes raining tears, if you cry hard enough tears are like rain, a vivid image with those words. Good job.

Your title went cliche Temps..for such a good poem, the title definitely doesn't deserve it.But I can't say nothing, it's a contest anyway.

"fog blinds vision as a storm of tears arrives."
^Would suggest you replace the "as" with a comma, gives more ambiguity to the poem and lets the reader sink in within the meanings.
Always try as much as you can to remove your fillers.

Well done Temps =)
Write on~

Azul eyes dim to slate gray,

Azul is blue in Spanish. I find it random to just insert a word of another language. You could have used another English word to describe blue...

fog blinds vision, a storm of tears arrives.
Pouring like burning lava with no extent;

If your tears burnt like lava I think it would be a most extreme extent....

streaks of crimson left as residue,
on her cheeks; perpetual.

My interpretation of this is that the tears burnt her cheeks now they are bleeding forever.....

Sorrow barricades muffled happiness,
hidden deep beneath hopeless eyes...
as memories make a distinct appearance,
shattering like shards within her mind,
none worthy of remembrance.

Deep emotion here. Nice word choice.

Stormy eyes rage on, raining tears
for eternity, flooding her aimless life.

I know it is difficult when you are given a title and then have to write a poem. I agree with Valedico's critique. I think with a little editing the poem could be much better.

Marvelous! The vocabulary used in this poem was extensive and expanded throughout. I loved the word usage. This poem seems to be one of heartache. It holds such pain and loneliness. The person suffer's from a loss. I can sense the pain that she feels. You depicted that perfectly.

"Pouring like burning lava with no extent;
streaks of crimson left as residue,
on her cheeks; perpetual. "

That was a feat. It described her tears and her hurt. The sorrow bled out of her through her tears. I understood that. It was very beautiful. I love how you used metaphors but not so openly. The reader has to truly read this to recall what the truth behind this piece is. I thoroughly enjoyed the rhythm and flow. They intertwined and caused a "volcano" of words to spew forth. Very nicely done Temps.

5/5

-FeignOctober