Ingrid... this poem is magnificient... I'm like totally blown away by your words. The imaginary which you have presented is like a dream which one doesn't wanna wake up from. I like the wordplay in which you have phrase whether this is real or is it just a dream. I also like how you transend from this lovely romantic moment to the sad end.
Thpough the ending is sad, but it certainly ends the poem with a great twist of sadness. I totally enjoy reading this poem.This poem just showcase how very talented of a poet that you are.

Excellent ;)

Ingrid, I think is one of the best you have written. Enjoyed the images you portrayed. Very well done.

'The warm sand kisses my feet'
`Ill be honest, I didnt like this. I cant really picture this all that well or feel it. I mean, maybe its the feeling of the sand on her feet and between your toes, but I cant really say that kisses is the correct word.

"All we had was brought together
on this dismal pile,
then burned;
for all eyes to see."
`Very sorrowful ending.. you did a great job with showing emotion in this piece however and images you created were great.

Good job on this. Your title also catches the readers eye...
5/5.
Temps (Beyond a Poets Mind)

Ingrid,

This is something extra special from you..

The warm sand caresses my feet,
as I tread the virgin beach.
^
Here we have a scene set. A morning beach, its cool sand pushing between toes.

Seagulls fight over a lump of bread.
Leftovers, of happy souls that left their mark
on my beloved sanctuary.
^
Again, this scene, a flock of hungry gulls, each one battling for a larger share of breakfast.
Sanctuary - a place for memories, for serene thought.

The sun climbs, then passes the threshold
to illuminate yet another day in paradise.
^
Please share :)

How I wish I could still admire this rebirth
with yesterdays eyes.
When the warmth of his love still
fueled the fire deep within
and there was magic in all I witnessed.
Our perception of reality
is tainted by our state of mind,
so much so..but I forgot; again.
^
This sounds like a narrated flash back of memories of a loved one now gone. It's amazing how our recollections of the past can alter actual events.

Ashes of time,
beneath your smoldering remains
I danced with him
to a beat only our hearts could hear;
a sacred dance I believed to last forever.
Was the dream a lie, or was he?
^
This sounds like a dance on a grave, or maybe a persons scattered ashes - a father maybe?

All we had was brought together
on this dismal pile,
then burned;
for all eyes to see.
^
A public funeral, surely not?

Ingrid, I have to say I am unsure exactly what this is about. This is not reflective to how excellent this poem is. I love it!

((hugs)) xx

As I read this I felt that there is a deeper
emotional picture which lurks behind your
words..a touching write..take care.

Nice poem.

A very sad yet beautiful piece.The words chosen and the imagery was superb.
Paul...

I felt that everything was brought together at the end, it was very nice that way. The message was clear, and the word choice brilliant, however your main idea slips away in a few spots, but like i said you tied it in at the end, which is important

Breathtakeing! It felt like every word you wrote was softly melted into the exact spot where it was meant to be. The opening stanza is my favorite part; very good visuals. Fantastic write, 5/5!

-mandy :)

Ingrid, I can feel your grief, and it is expressed so deeply with the beach and funeral pyre imagery, like a surrealistic dream. Beautiful! I want to check out more of your poems!

5/5

Wow! there is so much going for this poem. I keep rereading astounded by what I"m reading. so deep and so mature, such wise words of pain.

I love this whole stanza, especially this..
when the warmth of his love still
fueled the fire deep within
and there was magic! -- I think you could have ended this line at magic.

A sad poem Ingrid, but one full of imagery that you have conjured up in your beautiful words.
Lost Love and memories of what once had been, that you have so eloquently put into words.
A lovely write.