Comments : No one Loves The Honest One

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    "Your best kept secret
    Your biggest regret
    Every truth I told
    You'll strangle in their nets."

    Very nice flow here,capturing my interest with the last line
    "You'll strangle in their nets". Seems to be a paradox of a truth net verses a tangled web

    "It's been 3 months
    Since I last cried,
    Not from lack of reason
    It just seems they're all dry. "

    Dry tears leaves my own imagination to wonder if this is a metaphor for suppressed emotion

    "This past year
    It's been the worst
    An innocent girl
    With a terrible curse"

    Specific time line gives the poem realism as if reflecting an actual experience

    "And all these problems
    I'm terrified to fix,
    What if I'm really this crazy
    when every things perfect?"

    "I try to live right,
    But everything goes wrong
    I'm as honest as you want
    But you don't like what your told"

    The last line reminds me of the famous Jack Nickelson line The truth! You can’t handle the truth!
    Overall I believe I know where you are coming from and it seems that everything’s not perfect in this relationship.

  • 15 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    No one Loves the Honest One, Confused would be more appropriate

    Maybe it is just me but this poem just does not seem to read easy perhaps that is the way it is meant to be, yet I think with a little more effort this could be a poem that would appeal to the majority
    e.g.
    1st stanza
    Every truth I told
    You'll strangle in their nets

    Just does not sound right to me,
    They'll perhaps

    2nd stanza
    It just seems they're all dry
    they've all dried perhaps

    Last stanza
    last 2 lines just don't feel or read right?

    Let us know what you think or if these comments have been of help. I will score it after you edit it again. Rays