Comments : Game Over!

  • 15 years ago

    by Steady Stereotype

    The beginning immediately captivated my attention as I read this poem of yours. I love your first person perspective of this. Your ending was wonderfully made and described.

    Though in this poem, I can't completely tell what emotions you were trying to express, and it wasn't entirely strong enough portraying that. It seemed you were angry, though your punctuation seemed to note otherwise. A good write. 4/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Though it it sad to have the need to write such a poem. overall I am left with some hope that the subject will be inspired to do the right thing for positive results. well writtten

    My favorite line is "I don't see why
    You cant simply do the right thing"

  • 15 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Wow...this is a very powerful poem. I can feel your sadness and your angry. But I like how you tell this person it's game over, very clever idea. I love the style, one of my favorite ways to write. Keep it up. Nik

  • 15 years ago

    by Hallo A Lilium

    I feel as though you are talking about your sister again. So she has condemned herself to faults and destitution? You have an plentiful abundance of anger in this piece. You loathe the attitude this person has. Their lack of sincerity and empathy towards other's pisses you off. I felt the anguish in this poem as well. You keep asking them if they are tired of their actions. Their constant torment that brings pain to everyone around them. I realize now that you don't hate this person at all. But you hate what they do. And how they rise arguments and cause disdain. Many people are like this unfortunately. They get pleasure from others misery. Perhaps thats not the case. But maybe this person has been destroyed themselves so wants everyone else around them to suffer in turn. Torture obscure's reason and makes deformities the outcome. The mind functions on unique levels. Pain in any shape or form causes trouble. We can only go through so much until we break. Our boiling points only have such limits. This was sad. And very thought provoking. We all go through times of hurt. It's in those times that we need comfort and solace to be able to withstand it all.
    5/5

    -Lilium

  • 15 years ago

    by Hollow Emotion

    I like how you stood up for yourself in the end. Its a hard thing to do, but its possible, and you showed that well in this poem... nicely done