Tears

Okay, I really like the whole metaphor in this. Comparing your sadness to a sad, rainy day. Even if it is a little common. It works. :]

The skies which where bright and blue
-- I think "where" is supposed to be "were". :]

Okay, so I think there are some words in here that could be improved, and some that are just a little over used. It's good to change up the words so the reader doesn't get bored.

The skies which where bright and blue
-- Bright and blue. You could maybe change them to: Happy, sunny, clear, joyful, cheerful, brilliant, shinny..? o.O Sometimes words won't make exact sense, but if you think of shinny you think of happy and bright so it works. Well for me at least.. haha. You don't have to change it if you don't want to. These are just suggestions. :]

Turn to a darker color of Grey
-- Here's a good place to get in some really vivid descriptive words. Darker you could change to: Gloomy, dim, pensive, or I would even use the word empty. If it was my poem I think I'd use empty. <.< I really like it for some reason. Lol :]

Feelings darken the sky, no glimpse of a ray
-- I don't really like the word ray here. It sounds kind of forced to me. >< The way I try to avoid that is reading my poem over and over and over until a word comes to me. It has to flow and sound right. Sometimes it takes a few seconds or minutes, but sometimes I have to just leave it and come back when my brain is refreshed.

One for every angel standing above
-- Do angels stand..? I always thought they floated. ><

Salty tears run down my face
-- You could change run to cascade. Or descend. Crying always makes me think of waterfalls for some reason. <.<

Those tears, leaving behind a salty trace
-- Ahh, you used tears and saltly again. I would change tears to something for metaphoric like pearls or glass? And salty could be: bitter, venomous, or even ocean or sea, because they're salty. <.< I can be weird sometimes. lol

Or for why my skies are no longer blue
-- Ahh, blue again... >< I already gave you some suggestions for this one so I was just pointing it out. lol

But I can still understand the pain
When all I can think about is how I miss you
-- I don't like the word "When" here. I don't know it just doesn't sound right, but I can't think of how to fix it. My brain isn't quite awake yet. Sorryy. >< I'd feel bad if I didn't point it out for you though. Maybe your brain is more awake than mine and you can figure it out. Haha. :]

Anyways, sorry if I sounded mean. I didn't mean to. Hope my suggestions help in some way. :]

Keep writing!
Cayce

So much in common with me today. I really like this one.

5/5
Wishmaster