A really great message, what a comparison you have made, you amazed me with this one! How inspirational this piece was as well as the good wording used. Just one thing:

"Stairs like life, the end like death,as you slowly next"

"as you slowly next" - shouldn't that say "as you are slowly next"? It is not worded correctly.

Also, try putting a space between the comma and the word after, like I am doing, it reads better and looks better.

4/5 from me, you repeated "slowly" a few times which kinda threw me off but otherwise good job!

God Bless You, pm me if you want....

~MaryAnne

I like it. It sounds just like Langston Hughe's poem Mother to Son. You should check it out...

http://www.crystalstairs.org/about_us/our_name.htm

I like it. Five out of five.