Captive Butterfly

Tears pool in those aqua coloured eyes
Glaring into the mirror, despising what she sees
Now alone, her happy facade is slipping
Leaving her to suffocate in endless misery

Eyes travel down her entire reflection
As she mentally notes changes she'd make
Wondering how she can spend hours like this
Making that change turned into her biggest mistake

For all she can see is layers upon layers of fat
When in reality, she's incredibly gaunt
In public she seems serene and content
Yet a voice in her head constantly taunts

Telling her that she has to keep going
That she isn't good enough, at least not yet
And as those pooling tears began to fall
She's trying her utmost hardest to forget

Forget how many hours are spent exercising
Forget hundreds of girls who fought but didn't survive
Trying to forget her hair's falling out in clumps
Along with the crippling hunger pains inside

Trying to forget cruel jibes that led her to this
And how she's lost all her faith in humanity
Trying to recall happier times and memories
Finding it difficult to keep hold of her sanity

Ignoring how she's constantly shivering
How heat from a shower makes her head spin
Trying to deny her body's shutting down on her
Trying to escape from the demons within

And just in case nobodies guessed
Just in case it was to difficult to see
The "She" referred to throughout
Wouldn't people be surprised that she's me

And everytime I gaze into that mirror
Only to be distraught at what I see
For all that appears in that dreaded reflection
Is two eyes full of self hatred staring back at me