Element

by ether   Jun 3, 2009


Spitting fires tempt the breeze,
A trick to lure the sour.
My clothes are ripped,
shaped an innocent flower.

With curiosity dancing
in through windows
splitting winds, hugging
the time you'd never show.

Painted over shadows with
that earthy, warming green.
Hid the eyes behind the fringe
creating a microwave dream.

Prepared for the wakening,
A tip hidden in a plastic cup,
An oceans whimper, the tidal change:
Raise me down, pull me up.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Marc Ortiz

    It was an alright poem. It has a smooth flow in it. I like the words you used here - It gives a warm feeling when I was painting the pictures in my head.

    An oceans whimper, the tidal change(:)
    Raise me down, pull me up.

    - I like the the way you used that punctuation. I read a number of poems that has (:) but it was used incorrectly. But yours fits that line, well done.

  • 15 years ago

    by Dark Savior

    I liked the poem. I usually have a thing for nature poems as they remind me of home. It's a very well thought out poem, I enjoyed reading it and it was a breeze to read.

    I'm not sure why you would choose a fire and a tree, I guess it's logical. I'm pretty positive that is what it is.

    I liked the poem and gave it a five, I enjoyed the use of a metaphor through out the poem.

  • 15 years ago

    by Jad

    Wonderful job with this poem. The flow of the poem to the rhyming was wonderful and the imagery in this poem is also great. The way you show the elements in the world was really great and you did a great job on it.

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