I've learned I'm more of a girl than i ever thought i would be, and things that i couldn't care less about 5 years ago are actually my life now. I'm stuck in the past but so ready for the future, i don't want to live in the present because of all the hate we have built up inside ourselves. i once thought i had plenty of great friends, but now i realize i only have a couple true ones. i realize things change, and its out of our control. I've learned people can be heartless and not loose a blink of sleep at night. The older we get, the more difficult it is to wake up in the morning, go through the day and then go back to sleep that night with a clear mind. I've learned you cry so much you make a lake to drown yourself in, until a friend jumps in and saves you. Ive also learned that sometimes that friend is busy. you'll loose the one you love, more than once and it only gets harder every time. and every time a little piece of you leaves with him, but its okay you want him to have it anyways. you just wish you had a piece of him to take with you. people can change in a split second and become the complete opposite person you thought they'd ever be. Sometimes it hurts to accept the change, but its always better in the long run. I've learned we'll do anything and everything for the ones who hurt us the most, but fall harder and harder for them every single day just to get hurt over and over again. when you miss that one person, time heals nothing...instead it only makes it worse. I've learned we think we can put our broken heart back together, but soon you find out it was only glue and it shatters all over again, piece by piece. You never fully get over your first love, you think about them every day, compare everyone else to them, and dream everynight that just by some miracle they'll come back to you and stay forever. I've learned you can paint a fake smile on just as fast as you can take it off. Wounds will heal, but scars will always stay. They continue to remind you of the past, and of the ones who you'll never be able to get back. I've learned being the third wheel isnt fun, you just feel out of place and want to disappear.
