Liliums Exquisite Pain (The Perfect Storm)

Sorry I should also have added at the bottom there that your rhyming scheme was very good and after looking through all your other work I think your a very talented writter =]

Excellent job, this poem is beautiful =]
Your chioce of wording is one of the main reasons your poem was picked!
You could however alter the format for a smoother flow - heres a possible suggestion =]

I delineate the obscurities of pleas
These are my own broken whispers,
I have a shroud of depression
An an evil serpent leaving festering blisters.

There is a pain that subjugates my minds short-term streaks of being blissfully content-
I am subjected to an entirety of burdens that leave me weak and spent.

The wreckage of my inner havoc can also cause commotion to my outer illusion,
Barriers that are injured and that are like that of a wound bleeding in profusion.

How do I cope with the sensitivity of my body's immaculate embrace for sorrow?
Do I plead down on my knees for salvation hoping for a happier tomorrow?

This emptiness engulfs the dread
blossoming like a flower in early bloom,
Turmoil racks my brain while I sit in deep lazes in the circumference of my room.

Loneliness encases my bereft arms in heartaches form-
My damaged alternate universe is my own creation and the exquisite pain is my perfect storm