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by Poet on the Piano
"I was falling and i fell too deep" Capitalize your "i" and add some punctuation, I really think you could expand on these first two lines, there needs to be more detail and emotion."Now i can't get out the walls too steep" Capitalize your "i", and add "are" after "walls" for a better read."And i scream and i shout" Capitalize your "i"s and there needs to be more wording here, its a little bland."Waiting for someone to get me out." I felt the ending to be weak, add more imagery and creativity. Take care and keep writing....
by Hearts Abyss
I hope you understand I was twelve-years-old when I wrote this and was not necessarily looking for criticism.