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by Poet on the Piano
"Your note still folded in my palm Your smell still dusted against my pillow Your clothes in the closet...all gone" Excellent descriptions, and well-exressed emotions here."I walk to the bed Where we used to lay My heart as heavy as lead But you just couldn't stay" The flow here is good and so is the rhyming, good job so far, you write well!"Your ghost is all I see Pictures of us hanging from the wall No more you, no more me" This is so heartbreaking, it must be so hard to live with that."You're gone and you've left You've ripped out my heart And ripped it to death" Repeating "ripped" a second time kind of threw me off, maybe replace it with another word?"The cancer took over And turned everything black The cancer took you under And I can't bare to look back" A very sad and emotional ending, cancer is so horrible, and I am so sorry that that happened. Take care and God Bless. ~MaryAnne
by lizz
I'm so sorry if this is true, I hope you're okay and don't worry, not even pain lasts forever