Silence

by Confined   Jun 15, 2009


Its all in my head,
This disease is debilitating.
It must be in my head;
I cant stop thinking about it,
Its driving me insane,
Am I supposed to feel this way?

Just drop dead in my tracks;
Yeah thats what I want to do,
If not now, how about tomorrow?

To sleep, is my only wish
Just one nights rest.
It must be in my head;
I cant be seeing this,
Ive made it this way,
Why did it happen like this?

And im jealous.
The man lies in my backyard
Sleeping so peacefully
Six feet under and total silence
And im thinking
Thats where I want to be.

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by mira

    So nice the flowe is great i rally like the wondering
    nice work

  • 13 years ago

    by Lori

    This is a very intense poem. I really like it because it is so in depth and very interesting. The wording was great and the stanzas flowed together very well. Great work!! 5/5!

  • 14 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Hmmmm powerful ending, ffits with the title, i mean the tone of the poem and the words choice all lead to one concept, a sad one ya but the poem is well expressed

    5/5/
    note :Thats where I want to be.

    well thats not the solution :)

  • 15 years ago

    by Kianna

    Love It!!!!!!! i especially like the ending :p
    5/5
    ~Kianna

  • 15 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Its all in my head,
    This disease is debilitating.

    *That was my favorite line. The diction there is perfect*

    It must be in my head;
    I cant stop thinking about it,
    Its driving me insane,
    Am I supposed to feel this way?

    * I love how you start this. It makes me wonder just how crazy you are and I also want to know what's in your head. Very creative start.*

    Just drop dead in my tracks;
    Yeah thats what I want to do,
    If not now, how about tomorrow?

    *This part seems a little random. It seems like your talking to yourself. If that's the case I like it. It gives the poem a more creepy feel to it*

    To sleep, is my only wish
    Just one nights rest.
    It must be in my head;
    I cant be seeing this,
    Ive made it this way,
    Why did it happen like this?

    *I'm really liking how you toss those questions in there. I think it adds a nice touch to it. You express yourself so well. I love it ^.^*

    And im jealous.
    The man lies in my backyard
    Sleeping so peacefully
    Six feet under and total silence
    And im thinking
    Thats where I want to be.

    *Aww what a sad ending. I like how you talk about the dead man and how you wish you were him. This was a very deep piece here. Keep it up hun. Nik*