This is a good poem i liked the emotion in it i could feel it pull me in as i read it it was so deep i could get lost in it the stucture is very well laid out within the poem i liked the metaphors in it

i just think you should change my to may in one of the lines in the first paragraph it will make more sense

>>excellent work, im starting to really enjoy reading your work now, from start to finish its beautifully styled and set out. the words you use astound me and some of your sentances have me wanting more, want me wanting you o write more, again a few pelling mistakes, which can be fixed in edit mode. when i read this poem it made me feel i was reading several things all at once wrapped into one - which to me is wierdly good. so good job there.<<

Excellent work.

IBE
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