Her hips press into yours
and the "no" dies from your lips.
You stop resisting the tug of her hand
on yours,
and instead let her lead you.
Where? It doesn't matter.
As long as it's far enough.
This happens every time.
Every single detail remains the same:
the Corona, the half-smoked cigarette, the people you're with.
The only thing that ever changes
is the girl.
But it's not as though that detail
is really important.
Is it?
Most nights it's just making out.
Just the stolen comfort
of tongues dancing together
under the pressure of a forced heat.
You're too smart to let it go
beyond that.
Usually.
Every once in a while,
you slip up, and let a girl
lead you to her house; her bed.
And for the night,
you allow yourself to bury your insecurities
deep within her body.
You always rise before the sun -
you'd never wake up next to a one-night stand.
When you get ready to walk out the door,
you always hesitate.
You feel as though you should leave
a note or a message of some sort.
You never do.
mostly because you've already forgotten her name.
You know when you go out that
this will happen.
And though you'll swear that
you hate it,
you always let it happen anyway.
Random hook-ups
with random women
are nice.
But after a while,
they become less spontaneous.
More like a routine.
More mundane.
And eventually,
you'll have to admit
if only to yourself,
that hooking up doesn't really solve
your problems.
It just pushes them to the side.
For now, this way of life
might be perfect for you.
But there will come a day
when you will have to take a chance
on something real.
