Losing My Balance. [Song]

A wonderful song, I love reading songs on here, its so fun! Well-expressed emotions, your wording really hit me. Nice job, this was a masterpiece. 5/5 from me, take care and God Bless You!

~MaryAnne

Well done. I caught myself humming as I read this. I think you should have titled it -I'm falling so fast. Restarting a love affair unfortunately hardly ever works. The problems that were encountered the first time around are usually there along with new ones. It is a good thought though. Good job.

Temps:)

I loved the song, so romantic.
To be in love is the most precious feeling in the world.
You have written this really well, I sang it out loud and it sounded so beautiful.

Well done sweet girl:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

First off, I found your title was a tad too long.
I'm not a fan of long titles as they usually become crowded and put the poem in a bad light from go, maybe just use "Losing my balance", it gives across the same message but grabs the reader better.

"I'm losing my balance tonight...
but I think I'm ready to take this flight.
Board the flight of love once more"
`I loved the image of the flight of love, but found the repetition of flight to throw the flow completely. But then again, thats when you read it as a poem--
as a song it could fit perfectly.
Buuuut, as a poem I'd say something different would work better, maybe even use less syllables in that line alone because it does become a mouthfull.

"sail without a worry above the many shores..."
`How did we get on to sailing, a second ago we were flying? Maybe try keep the reader on track, blunt changes could mess up their trai of thought while reading this.

"I'm counting on you to be there
when I fall... cause I'm falling fast baby."
`[cause baby I'm falling fast] sounds better to me, Adding baby at the end of a sentence makes it sound forced, not really natural.

"to rekindle our love once lead askew. "
`I love how you brought a poeticness to your lyrics. Everything else is simple, like lyrics tend to be, but this just caught be off guard. Loved it.

sidenote-
again, I'm not sure how it goes as a song but as a poem you seem to be forcing a rhyme which in return isn't giving a solid flow. Just something you should look at.

"But I'm ready... and I hope you are too.

..and baby I hope you are too."
`The ending should have strength in my opinion and the repetition of and throws that strength down the drain. Maybe try something like "Please baby, say you are too" or something along those lines. Just an opinion. (:

Great work though--
I would LOVE to heard this put to music.

OOO Temps a song! How exciting and new. :]

First of all I loved the title. Great choice.

"but I think I'm ready to take this flight.
Board the flight of love once more"
^I'm not so sure of using "flight" here twice. I know in songs repetition is sometimes key but it really doesn't work for me here.

"sail without a worry above the many shores...
so will you be there to catch me?"
^Loved the "ssss" sound throughout these lines. Quite effective.

"so what do you say... should we restart?"
^Hmm "restart?" Sounds like when a computer is being slow and you have to restart it to get it working again. That could be where you were going with this maybe I dont know.

"to rekindle our love once lead askew"
^This is a beautiful line Temps! One of the best you've written but I dont think it fits in with the rest on of your song. The vocab you chose to use is a bit simple which works in your case but this line stuck out to me because the words were a bit more advanced and didnt really mesh well with the rest. Maybe I'm being a bit picky I dont know but thats what stood out to me when I read the chorus. Otherwise your chorus was beautiful and something I am sure many can relate with. You touch the emotional part which was great.

I loved your overall message in the poem. Very uplifting. No matter how many times you fall on the way you to love, you just gotta get back up, dust yourself off and go in a different direction. Just because we get burned by loves flames doesnt mean we should give up on love all together. It gets hard because you're scared of being hurt again but if you don't take the risk, you might miss out on something beautiful. Life is nothing without taking chances because it might end up good you just never know until you try. Great message Temps.

Well done!