Wow this poem is alot better i love how this is written. its filled with so much emotion it wants u to keep reading. submit this poem in the contest. it flows so well.

Excellent work, the flow was right on target throughout the piece and the rhyme was good too. I loved the whole concept of this piece and overall you created a masterpiece. You should definetly submit this poem to the contest, you have much talent and it shows in this piece. A pleasure to read, 5/5 from me. Keep writing, and good luck in the contest.

~MaryAnne

This is so amazing. I love the whole thing but my favorite stanza would have to be the last one. I just found that it was a wonderful conclusion. Bravo! 5/5. The flow is smooth and the rhyming doesn't seem forced and that's really amazing that they're both so perfect. Wonderful job. It's pretty obvious why you won the contest. :) Good job!

~KM~

Xcellent poem, I really like how this poem flows and the dee] emotiions put into the words.