Painting of My Life

The future is blank,
A canvas sheet,
Your life paints in,
All those you meet.
^^I think the second line went off a bit...Twas the syllable count i think..

Other than that, this piece was lovely, a beautiful dedication to a friend..Full of sweetness..

This poem did not miss a beat therefore the sentiment was perfectly delivered and I would not change a thing

YOU HAVE VERY GOOD FLOW AND RHYMING IN YOUR POEM. THE POINT CAME ACROSS CLEARLY, GOOD JOB

Wow, this one is soooo much better. Certain little lines are just really good lines... like they're inspiring. Theflow was slmot perfect. The rhyme scheme was good, though some parts could be better. My fav. stanza is:

I will live each moment,
Like it's our last,
Moments don't linger,
They make up the past.

I love that one. It's so true. And I love the first two lines, I love to live life that way. This is def an excellent piece. I couldn't have written it any better myself. Amazing job.

Soda. E>

I would rather cry,
Than endure this pain.
My mind is numb,
I don't feel sane.

*Hmm this part was good, but strange. First you say you would rather cry, then you say the tears don't come...that's a little confusing. I would say the tears come too much or won't stop coming something like that. But other than that good start.*

The tears don't come,
My thoughts seem barred.
My chest feels heavy,
And breathing is hard.

*I really liked this part. I feel like I'm suffering with you.*

I will live through this,
I will move on.
I will not be depressed,
After you're gone.

*I like this and how you say "I will" I would chang the last line to "once you're gone" Sounds better that way. But other than that repeating "I will" is very effective*

I will live each moment,
Like it's our last,
Moments don't linger,
They make up the past.

*This part was clever. I like this. ^.^ *

The future is blank,
A canvas sheet,
Your life paints in,
All those you meet.

*I love how you talk about the past and the future. I also think using a painting is a clever way to expres this chnage in time.*

I'm glad my life,
Painted in you.
But he gave you an aura,
Of purple and blue.

*I love the imagery here. very lovely. I would change the second line to "was painted by you" It sounds weird the way you have it.*

Yet you made my life,
Every bit worth living.
You made me better,
You made me forgiving.

*Aww this part was sad, but very well written*

You changed me,
You made me see.
That the world is beautiful,
That you're priceless to me.

*So sweet. I can tell this person was dear to you. I like how you talk about them ^.^*

So maybe one day,
We'll meet again.
I'll live with hope,
Until then.

*I hope you two meet again a well. I like this part. It gives the reader hope.*

And that one thing,
You will always be;
My special best friend,
For eternity.

*I loved this poem. I think you did a wonderful job and I'm so glad I read it. Please keep it up hun. Nice work. Nik*