Lovers' Play

Down at the shore, where earth meets water,

Down where trees line the coast...there is two ghosts. <---NICE. TRY AND ADD ANOTHER WORD BEFORE GHOSTS.

One is a boy >AS< young as can be another is a girl, that's me! We run we jump We fly sky high.

a love so eternal we shall never die! <---NICE.

Manny moons ago we made our>A - INSTEAD OF OUR??< decision we faced>FACED OR FORCED??< out fate>>NEW LINE---> we loved each other and we>REMOVE WE< wanted to be forever bonded as mates.
We flutter and fly we swoop and never cry.<---NICE.

nothing to fear but a hight or two. only two things to hate hight and heartbreak. <---THEESE LINES ARNT NEEDED - IT RUINS THE FLOW OF YOUR WORDS.

But its OK forever here ill stay to fly, oh fly my wings so brilliant as a butterflies... <---NICE.

>>A NICE POEM TO READ, WITH SOME SLIGHT AMENDMANTS IT COULD BE GREAT.NO RHYMES BUT CERTAIN WORDS CAPTURED MY EYES AND HEART.<<

very well done.

IBE
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