A brilliant write my friend, I have no suggestion but only prasie for this piece. Every line was so in-depth and powerful, not once did you bore the reader. Your wording was very strong and struck the reader, you brought them into this piece. I loved the imagery and details described, excellent work. 5/5 from me, take care..

~MaryAnne

I like the mood you have created here with
words and the images come alive..very good
indeed!