Comments : Views of life

  • 15 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Well done. Starts out sad and then ends full of hope as she realizes her worth. I love these two lines. Good job.

    "You were born an original. Don't die a copy".
    Then she knew, unique she'll always be.

  • 15 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    A great write! I loved the theme.. how we CAN overcome our failures.. low self esteem, by believing in ourselves, who we are.. and what we can be. I love how it finished on a triumphant note!.. Brilliant Kelleyana!

    LOL,
    Olwin.

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Regardless of the grammatical mistakes, I absolutely fell in love with this poem as I continued to read it. I loved your quote 'You were born an original, Don't die a copy' - This line speaks so loud and stands above all your words youve written; we are all born with something unique about us, and we should never die as anything less than that. We will all always be different in someway from one another. Also I enjoyed when you said you analyze you mistakes and learn lessons from them. I believe that life is entirely about learning from our mistakes, and as we learn from our mistakes, we gain so much knowledge. Perfect ending, absolutely loved it. Yes, life is like a climb, and we should never look back.. the past is the past and our main focus should really be our future.

    I loved your words.. they are truly very deep and have such strong meanings within them. Awesome work.

    5/5.
    Temps.

  • 15 years ago

    by Dimarik

    This poem is amazing. Every word as I was reading along the way is very raw and powerful. :)

  • 15 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    1st Stanza
    Essential what? (yet missing lifes most essentials then follow with the qualifiers)
    2nd Stanza
    Letting herself failed-letting herself fail(maybe)
    Before even try - Before even trying (perhaps)
    3rd Stanza 2nd line
    line between failure and hopes
    badly formed failures and hopes or failure and hope sounds and feels better?
    suddenly her two feet touches the solid ground - her two feet touch the the solid ground!
    Love the 4th stanza you should never be afraid of self love it gives you strength and you hit the nail on the head we are all unique in our own way and if we don't love our uniqueness who will?
    5th stanza There she realizes in all her cries, hopes are disguised - think Then she realises that all her cries and hopes are a disguise? 2nd line good but no need for the two comma's in the 3rd line they spoil the flow
    Read the 4th line it is badly written and spoils the end perhaps? Just hold on as she knows she can with no need to look back.
    She is showing us how her strength has grown I think. Hope this is a help Ray S.
    Edit this poem and it will be worthy of 5/5 I think you rushed it and it does need a bit of love and care. Let me know if you do and I will score it.

  • 15 years ago

    by Bhavin

    I like the way the poem has shaped up. Keep up the good work. Eager to read more from you.

    Regards,
    Bugs

  • 15 years ago

    by Zeus

    The poem is great aside from some few errors in tense and missing words. Other than that I loved it, it was a great read and very true. We should never compromise our individuality.

    Well done.

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Kelleyana,

    The French language is so different from English and because I can speak both languages I can easily see through the unusual grammar you used here. If you want to, I could provide you with a flawless version, but it is not needed to get the message across, my friend. Indeed we should always be true to our inner most self and never compromise or conform to the bodice of society.

    You go girl,

    A 5/5 with flying colors:)

    Je t'embrasse

    Ingrid

  • 15 years ago

    by Sourav

    I liked the emotions and thoughts that made you write this poem. It has some inspirational punch. Nicely done!

  • 15 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Beautiful write...

    //"You were born an original. Don't die a copy".
    Then she knew, unique she'll always be.
    //
    very though provoking ... so many youngster feel inferior and low while imitating their so called role models... everyone is unique and they should learn to preserve their uniqueness...

    wonderfully penned :)

  • 15 years ago

    by Loulou

    Mazing i reallylike this I really believe in being unique its a wonderful way to live :-)

  • 15 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    I really like the message in this poem. It
    teaches us that life has many lessons from
    which we should learn & grow..good write!

  • 13 years ago

    by OrangeJuicePerez

    This poem fled from pessimism into optimism perfectly. It changed as it went along and the timing and rhymes were terrific.