Those eyes might burn through diamonds if it weren't for those sunglasses.
>>NOT REALLY SURE ABOUT THIS LINE<<

That smile might stun a army of millionS if his lips where ever apart from mine...
>>THE START OF THE LINE DOESNT SEEM RIGHT BUT THE END OF IT IS GREAT & POWERFUL<<

And his touch could illuminate anyones passion. . .

That cold starE as were intertwined is almost raw passion still masked by those glasses he refuses to take off around me...
>>TOO MANY WORDS IN THIS LINE - TRY & KEEP IT SIMPLE WHILE STILL BEING DESCRIPTIVE<<

As Sunday comes round I wake next to him already awake...
>>MAYBE GET RID OF 'ALREADY AWAKE' - MIGHT SOUND BETTER.<<

his eyes still masked, must have been watching me all nighT...for he never sleeps.
>>I LOVE THIS LINE - VERY POWERFUL & BOLD<<

I smile and welcome tHat sweet morning kiss
>>THIS LINE IS SIMPLE - I LOVE IT<<

and his normal pull of me onto his chest.
>>AGAIN, SIMPLE - & I LOVE IT<<

here life is perfect, here his touch is welcomed, here time is perfectly still in his arms.
>>I LOVE THEESE LAST LINES, REALLY GET A SENCE OF WHAT LIFE IS LIKE WHEN YOUR WITH HIM<<

>>Good work<<

IBE
X

Umm really like it.... i see ur like doing all the senses or something