Midnight Memories

by Lady Nik   Jun 25, 2009


Curled up upon comfy purple
sheets, listening to the rain's
song. Tapping lightly at my
closed window. Not yet ready
to rest.

Playing with a piece of my black
hair. As my brown eyes stare
at the ceiling. Thinking about our
lovely past. Such peaceful
thoughts I think tonight.

Climbing out of bed to crack
my window. Standing close
enough for the midnight breeze
to tickle my plump cheeks
bringing upon his favorite smile.

Picking up his photograph that
rest underneath my pillow.
Remembering the heat from his
touch and the pain from his
betrayal. Tears find me now.

Curled up upon lonely purple
sheets. Listening to my faint
heartbeat, tearing quickly
inside my body. Not yet ready
to forget.

*Please tell me what you think. This is my first time writing like this.*

2


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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by ASPHYXIATED

    At first glance I smiled.
    I always think the look of a poem is just as important as everything else that goes in to it, for without structure we'd all just be writing prose and paragraphs of it. So at first glance, Icouldn't help but notice the CPCPC, starting letters of each stanza. Seriously, its a technique I haven't seen before and its very sly. I loved it. (;

    Theres actually not a thing I'd change here
    I loved every bit. You should continue this style of writing it suits you. Great job. (:

  • 15 years ago

    by Mezmeryz

    Wow, i really enjoyed reading this poem. It went from painting a peaceful and pretty image in my mind, to one filled with hurt and pain. The flow was smooth, and the use of sentences of various lengths was very effective too. Although there was no rhyme scheme, its still a beautiful poem; and i think that makes it a little bit more special... =]

    Curled up upon comfy purple
    sheets, listening to the rain's
    song.

    ^^ These lines are so cute, they drew me in immediately, and the metaphor about the rains song is beautiful.

    Curled up upon lonely purple
    sheets. Listening to my faint
    heartbeat, tearing quickly
    inside my body. Not yet ready
    to forget.

    ^^ I liked how you repeated this line, just changing one word, from 'comfy' to 'lonely'.. its no longer so cute anymore, i can almost feel your pain.. Al in all, a beautiful write, I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for your r/r/c.
    Don't stop writing...MEZi x

  • 15 years ago

    by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden

    Oh yes, I read this one for the poem of the week in in the club.

    I liked it. It was very visual. Maybe a few more intersesting words could be used, but you did a good job for a first time on this type. 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Laurenf7

    I love this! its brilliant the way it is written

    6/5 if possible

    x

  • 15 years ago

    by Steady Stereotype

    This piece was adorable, the descriptive words you used to describe the little things making it seem as if it's casual. This feeling your experiencing.

    I loved how you decided to just display a normal day, sitting on the couch, and then you just looked at his photograph and your emotions overcame you. It was a simple transition between atmosphere and you wrote that out nicely.

    "Curled up upon comfy purple
    sheets, listening to the rain's
    song. "

    ^I loved the metaphor here, it was definitely beautiful in a bittersweet way.

    "Curled up upon lonely purple
    sheets."

    ^I loved how you repeated your very first line in your last verse and just changed one word, which in itself changed the meaning of the whole phrase. The exact wording shows that everything around you hasn't changed, but the way you see them and look at them.

    Another wonderful poem. It's a really nice style too (;

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