Beautiful Disaster

Dark brown eyes filled by tears of pain
She cuts and cuts till memories fade
She wants so bad to end this life
Shes lost her strength through the turmoil and strife

The mistakes made hosts are debts she now pays
Her heart is weak, her mind corrupt
Every night is time to give up

Just one more break, just one more fall
Her heart alone murmurs
Shes lost it all

The love that surrounds her, she piles away
Her will to live slips farther each and every day
And every night before bed
She hopes and prays that God leaves her dead

She doesn't whimper, she doesn't whine
Carving out blood one day at a time

When death brought up she knows no fear,
Just the wish, the need .. to disappear

Shes always helping others, she loves to build up their dreams
But with each of their problems, her soul silently screams
She cant bear more of their burdens
She cant fix more of their fears
But she will never show her worry, theyll never see a tear

You wish to ask her why she wants herself gone
The answer youll get is her life has gone on much too long

Too many disappointments
Too many well covered lies
Too many deaths and dying,
Too many more goodbyes

Her heart doesn't hunger for attention
Her mind is too long gone
She only hungers for peace
She longs never to meet dawn

Her nights are slow and ghastly
Grieving grasps her mind
Shell never get a good nights sleep
But a lying smile is what youll find