Wow, Wow, wow.

This poem is way to cool. I think its up there with one of my favorites. Its certainly been added.

The whole thing rhymes and flows really really well, except one tiny little spot for me, which ill explain below. Also for as AMAZING as a poem as this is I think the end needs tweeked just a tad.

My favorite stanza

She's scared, alone, helpless. and lost
With the world upon her back
Her tears run down over quivering lips
And down to a heart thats cracked

^^That's

Ok... to fix that flow bump I ran into....

And fall down to the ground
^
try putting "upon" here

as for the ending.
your last rhming mark, is .... harass me

it has such a strong hook to it, you know!!

the poems just feels like it needs something stronger to HOOK with it. Do you know what I mean.

I know its not really all that proper to rhyme in a stanza set with two of the same words but perhaps the last line would slap a tad bit more power into the end if it read.

So now, another day awaits
To torture and harass me
But I'll hide behind a mask again
So no one will ever ask me.

just a thought

this poem is one of my fav's on this site

....nice

"upon" was meant to be pointing "to"

as in the line might be better if it read

and fall down upon the ground