Why Cant I Let Go Of This Man You've Become?

I dont know where we stand
And I dont know how I feel
I dont know what I want
Or even if what we have is real.
Im scared to live without you,
Yet Id be better off alone.
Its hard living here with you,
But you make my house, my home.
I dont know if your good for me,
If you really are the one.
Actions and words we cant take back,
Damage that cant be undone.
Yet Im still here beside you,
Still living in the pain,
The memories still reminding,
Our relationship is stained.
Its left a constant mark,
A reminder of your slip,
Yet I cant let go of what we had,
My knuckles are white from my desperate grip.
I beg for the way we were,
The way I know we can still be.
I ache inside, from desperation,
Hoping for a chance for you and me.
Im self destructing more each day,
Two loves Im torn between.
I love you, but do I love me more?
Who is more important to me?
Is my happiness essential,
As long as your around?
You seem to be able to make me happy,
Yet you also let me down.
Im so confused within myself,
So many emotions for such a young girl.
I cant bear to lose you, cant bear to let go,
Yet I cant stand to stay here, in this miserable world.