by XxXcrystalXcontagiousXxX Jul 4, 2009
category :
Sadness, depression /
about death
Sitting on the ground |
I liked the write it was pretty well done and the flow wasn't bad either. You missed a couple words I think like in the 5th stanza, I think you meant to say "on the floor" ... sometimes adding or subtracting a word or two from the poem can make it a lot better. Always capatalize "I" as well :) It was a good right though and the message is well relatable to all... great job 5/5 |