As long as a person lives on in the heart of others he or she does not really die, Joe.
I strongly believe we have an immortal soul that lives on forever and that the ones who have passed away are still with the ones they loved during their life on earth, as their guardian angel.
Please read the books Betty J. Eadie has written about heaven, it will give you peace of mind.
I hope in time you will be able to find a way to move on from this, you still have a whole life in front of you.
A beautiful tribute, it made me see exactly what you must have gone through.