Untrue

by P00ki3B3ar   Jul 7, 2009


You told me you loved me
But you liked her
You told her she was beautiful and
God you missed her
You said that you were leaving
And never coming back
I then sobbed in the fear of losing you
Only cause truly did I love you
Obsession overgrew you when it came to her
Even so I stood there by you
Knowing your unfaithfulness
I crumbled into the darkness
As Shadows were overturning my soul
I screamed and I screamed
But you ignored my plea for help
I cried and I cried
But you never came through
Suppression pulled me closer
You became dimmer
You fell farther away from me
And grew closer to her
Now my heart shatters
And crushes into tiny sparkles of
Hatred that is forever yours

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Lettredufront

    Very well writen!

  • 15 years ago

    by Poetic Justice

    This was beautiful and sad. It reminded me of what I went through with my ex. The flow was amazing and sound. Great.

  • 15 years ago

    by KJ

    Now this one was most definately perfection! Very good job keeping the voice in the write. I felt as if you had true emotion when you wrote it, so I agree with ^^David. Great flow; and flawless job with the voice once again. I give this a 5/5 :) Good job

  • 15 years ago

    by David ODonnell

    It seems there is a constant theme to your poems so far of the ones I have read which is loss, anger & injustice.

    To me it feels not just that you are talking about your former partner in so that getting everything off your chest but I am willing to bet as much as it helps it's not completly helping you. Theres injustice upon you, wether you see it now or now its amazing that your poetry is fluent in emotional as well as descriptive text. Anyone can read this and if experienced by themself can feel a connection with the very words that you write.

    I think you are hurting but more than just what you talk about in your poem and with that you need to express more. It will really lengthen out your poems (As you like to read long poems) and will help you deal with it more.

    The best line in the poem for me was the last line "..crushes into tiny sparkles of
    hatred that is forever yours" It is almost condecending which I love. Tiny sparkles most of us associate with something possitive but then you use it with the line "of hatred that is yours.." it's compelling!

    This is deffinatly a 5/5 for me. Great Poem.

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