Crashing Down

I think we can all appreciate this poem in the sense of "Crashing Down" having experienced these similar actions before.

This piece begins as if telling the tale of your burden through what seems like unforfilling love between you and another then it appears as if you are talking to your former partner in the poem where prehaps you couldn't speak your mind before you find it easier to do it through poetry better expressing yourself?

This piece is thought provoking but I feel the structure of the poem is slightly ofcourse for your ending line "And came crashing down to you" it's such a powerfull line and like anything epic, it needs a bigger build up. Try spacing the poem our into segments, one could prehaps be how you feel, another could be where it has put you and what you are left with etc. A good write. 4/5

"The closer and closer you came towards her" is my favorite part! Good write!!

Darkness finally overfills
No stars were left to sparkle in the night
The moon finally went black

^^^
That part brang tears to my eyes.
It was the deepest part.
I felt what you felt, well i think i did.
Aw.

Much love x

*I commented back :)*

I love this poem!! I especially like the line, "The closer and closer you came towards her
The further and further I fell into my womb" That is how I feel. My ex.. like you read in my poem, is now with this new girl, and they're getting married. They already have a baby, and it's really hard to deal with when I see them together. I just want to cry, but at the same time yell at him, but then also hurt him, like he hurt me. The emotions of the heart are so hard to figure out, and even harder to control. Good Job! Keep writing!! :)