Hey i think your good with what you have done but i cant help wonder how it would be as more of a rap style lyric if you know what i mean? think the words are amazing but can imagine it more as an eminem song so sort of shorter layout like this....

Keep it up, (yeah)
don't stop now
With every last tear
take a step forward (yeah)
Leaving behind the mess
The mess you made (yeah )
Don't worry ( no dont worry)
someone else will clean it up
Please,
please don't look back
Just move on
through the darkness (darkness)
with the shuffle of your feet (just move on )

anyway that is just my thought. think if you repeat the more powerful lines words it adds affect to the meaning and message that stands out.

but great job well done xxx

My heart actually started pounding in anticipation waiting for what happened at the end of the poem.. but then nothing happened. >< Maybe you could.. make something happen? o.O I don't know. I know you don't really know what to make of it. I have poems like that too. lol Isn't it fun to talk to yourself? Well at least that's what I though you were doing. Telling yourself to just keep moving. <.< Anyways.. I loved it.

Great jobb.

I have to agree with the person on top it does seem like it would be an Emenim song.

But respectfully my heart stopped as I got through the 5th line. It made my adrenaline rush so fast I had to go do some push ups to calm down.
It truly is a great poem. It sucks you in with every line. (not tryin to be funny, it actually sucks you in)

Nice work!