The Conflict Of The Devils Torment

I love the way you wrote this using the devil its so unique and different i loved it i love dark poems like this great poem! 5/5

The dark swell of a rising bruise,
it's always because of the violent force you use.

*For some reason I don't really like how this line sounds. I would say "Is always the result from the violent force you use" That sounds better to me*

Word's of conflict and with your fists you strike,
a endless agony that makes me feel dead on the inside.

*This was a very emotional start, but also makes me want to know more about your story*

Tear stained mahogany that whisper's it's shame,

*I love this line...it's very beautiful and so well crafted*

Unmercifully you deal out pain; What do you gain?

*I would say "what do you have to gain" that sounds like it fits better than the way you have it*

I'm black and blue from the vengeance of your game;
You call me below average and just a plain Jane.

*I like how you ended this stanza. The imagery you use helps makes your story so much more intense and emotional. Great*

I cry out without making even a hint of sound,
i'm terrified of that time when darkness comes around.
Frightened by the animosity that shines in your eyes,
Jilted by an enemy that severe's my heart in knotted ties.

*This stanza was perfect. The words you use here are simply flawless and add such a haunting and sad touch to your poem. I also like that you use periodic syntax. Not many people can do that without their setences looking like run-ons. I felt that your emotions were clearly expressed here and were so deep and straight from the heart.*

You have many name's but all portray the same,
terror reflects through shades of gold and brown,
the devil grabs a hold of my body and is the blame,
a monster that intend's to bury me beneath the ground.

*Such a dark ending. This was another well crafted stanza. I love the imagery here as well and the creativeness of this poem is a very dominant factor. I really enjoyed this one. Keep it up hun. You have such an amazing talent. Nik*

...wow. I can relate to this very much, altho i cant say much about a devil, but those who can, and can relate to this....wow. I love it. very much.<3