by mckenzie
So heartbreaking. I could feel the emotions. It's well written and has an amazing flow. It's a powerful thing when someone realises he/she has had enough. This piece captures it perfectly. |
No offence, but this was filled with unnecessary filler words and an abundance of I, me, and you's. I felt as though that was all I was reading. This so called 'poem' needs a lot of work, before I could consider this to be an excellent piece of poetry for at the moment it is just okay in my opinion. This is more like a prose, so for this piece to work I would suggest making it into one. Try removing the unnecessary filler words and I, me and you's. Just by eliminating those minor things, I think this write could benift from it. |