Depression is such a weird thing.
It is different for everybody.
No one understands this but me.
I want so bad to let it all go, let it all out.
But I just do not know how to go about.
Depression is taking me under,
It will swallow me whole.
It is a whole different world.
I have a different life perspective.
When will my heartache be over?
I can not walk through life hoping for the best,
Because all I have ever known is now a mess.
So hard to explain emotions so bitter, so sad, so mad.
But more than that, I am empty.
I have nothing left to give,
and I am done fighting, trying, and crying.
The choice is now up to you.
Beat me up when you can not live with yourself,
pick me up when all is well.
Well I am so sick of this f**ked up merry go round.
Just let me off now.
Can not even realize the hurt you have handed to me.
Next time serve it on a silver platter,
Give yourself some dignity.
This can not be the worst, things must get better.
I feed myself these lies,
keep telling myself that I matter.
Truth be told, I feel so worthless.
No good to anyone.
A disease, a poison, a plague.
But still I continue to search for my purpose.
I am beginning to think I have none.
What happened to my past?
Will I even have a future?
All I can focus on is the present,
but it has not bore me great gifts.
I feel like my life is on repeat.
Same thing, different day,
always tuning in for the rerun.
My life is too complicated.
I can not even begin to sort it all out.
I am at a loss for words,
And I am too proud to pout.
I will keep it all in,
hold my head high, high, high.
I am too scared to show my weakness.
Too scared to hang my head low and cry, cry, cry.
I am sick of being strong,
for everyone else.
I just need my one chance.
A new way out.
I am so stuck in a rut,
so set in my ways.
But surely I have seen such better days.
My motivation.
What keeps me going?
I remind myself constantly I have one reason to live.
Perfection at its finest.
I am lucky in one sense.
I may not have everything,
but I certainly give it my all.
I put so much effort in,
to get nothing out.
This world is such a terrible place,
or maybe I just have bad luck.
Either way, I cannot just keep living,
not really giving a f**k.
They say time heals all wounds,
who knows, maybe that is true.
But with my misfortune,
things will only get worse.
So confused,
two sides of every story.
But I have some bad news.
Everyday is a different experience.
And I never know what you will choose.
Sweet or sour, sometimes both.
But either way things are not better.
The gap between us now,
only continues to grow.
But you are the one I pity.
You will be the one left alone.
I have made mistakes, but never so big.
But who am I to judge;
I think you are just f**king great.
