Empty Shell

I will no longer smile
I will no longer laugh
No more emotion shall be shown
Into the world beside mine
I wonder at night
Snatching innocent souls away
Their screams
Their little puppyâ??s eyes plead
No longer have its effect on me
No longer has it had a place in my heart
For my humanity is long gone
No tears*
No hatred*
No laughter**
No smile**
No anger<<<get rid of this line>>>
Nothing, just and empty shell
With a cruel smirk on my face
No longer will I smile
No longer will I laugh
Just an image of a doll
With an empty shell

not a bad poem, ive marked with stars the lines i think you should join together, to make a stronger feeling.

i love the ending of your poem though writting of a doll makes the poem go of trail a little. the start is good - powerful word usage and the structure so-so, might want to work on the rhyming scheme and block some lines into stanzas, so it doesnt look as messy.

well done though!

IBE
X

I will no longer smile
I will no longer laugh
No more emotion shall be shown
Into the world beside mine
I wonder at night
Snatching innocent souls away
Their screams
Their little puppyâ??s eyes plead
No longer have its effect on me
No longer has it had a place in my heart
For my humanity is long gone
No tears*
No hatred*
No laughter**
No smile**
No anger<<<get rid of this line>>>
Nothing, just and empty shell
With a cruel smirk on my face
No longer will I smile
No longer will I laugh
Just an image of a doll
With an empty shell

not a bad poem, ive marked with stars the lines i think you should join together, to make a stronger feeling.

i love the ending of your poem though writting of a doll makes the poem go of trail a little. the start is good - powerful word usage and the structure so-so, might want to work on the rhyming scheme and block some lines into stanzas, so it doesnt look as messy.

well done though!

IBE
X