Beautiful, the regret and heart ache was obvious, not over powering though, the words flowed well, saying so much. Very deep and pulled at the heart strings.

He looked at her so dully,
Didn't expect this to ever occur,
Fighting back tears he walked away,
His whole life now became a blur.

*I loved this stanza, but I'd fix the last line. There's a lapse in tense. You say "now" which ios present and "became" which I'm pretty sure is past tense. I would reword that so it's all in one tense and doesn't confuse people. If I'm wrong just ignore me lol. But good poem though. I think you told your story well. Nik*

Sorrow sets in because of one mistake,
Never did she mean to hurt him,
So suprised in her own actions,
She couldn't feel even one limb.

Good, but a little shaky. I like it though, the 2 and last line are what seem a lil awkard

He looked at her so dully,
Didn't expect this to ever occur,
Fighting back tears he walked away,
His whole life now became a blur.

Well done, flows extremly well.

Tears fell from her eyes,
It was her fault and she knew it,
Realizing this to be a mistake she'd regret,
As the extent of her actions finally hit.

My favorite verse. It is so smooth and such strong words, I can really feel what your feeling here.

Wonderful job 5/5

suicidalkansas

This was a really powerful poem. Something I can really relate to. I loved the emotion throughout it.

The only constructive thing I could say is that a fair bit of the rhyming seemed a little forced, and because of that it disrupted the flow of the poem abit- apart from the last stanza that was well done :)

The line "fighting back tears he walked away" i thought was the most powerful line in the poem, it made the reader really connect with the guilt that she must be facing.

Overall this was great :) you are an amazing writer and this was very well done.

5/5 for sure :)

Loved this.:) 5/5