Comments : Crystal

  • 15 years ago

    by WakingFreedom

    "Born at the dawning of Aquarius.
    Attracted to humor yet serious.
    I look into your crystalline eyes,
    Though transparent they hold surprise."

    I loved the first two lines of this stanza, and the next two just flows perfectly with them. Very well written. I enjoyed this write. 5/5
    ~Pingu

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    This was a brilliant piece Michael, I loved the repetition of "crystal" too, it was not overdone. A powerful and deep piece overall, I enjoyed reading it, thanks for posting. 5/5 from me, keep writing, always and forever..

    God Bless You!

    ~MaryAnne

  • 15 years ago

    by Obscura

    This is a very well written poem i liked the wording of it the words created a good imagery the desciption was fantastic the structure is well built within the poem the rythem is smooth flowing as well but the rhyme seemed forced in places but other than that

    well done

  • 15 years ago

    by Nicko

    A beautiful love poem Michael, great descriptive narrative, flowing rhythm and flawless rhyme, combine to make this a wonderful piece.

    Nick

  • 15 years ago

    by Mezmeryz

    Hi, i really enjoyed reading this write; not only because its so beautifully written, but because none of the words/phrases used were actually cliche, though it was written on a common topic.
    Love it is so crystal clear,
    Passion rises when you're near.
    I gaze into my crystal ball
    To see the writing on the wall.
    ^^ I really enjoyed the first three lines, but the fourth line threw me off the flow a bit, because i didn't really understand it.. maybe its too deep for me? =] Nevertheless, the opening was very effective in drawing me in, because it wasn't cliche like other love poems usually are..

    Born at the dawning of Aquarius.
    Attracted to humor yet serious.
    I look into your crystalline eyes,
    Though transparent they hold surprise.
    ^^this was also well written, describing your lover, in a unique way; i liked how you wrote the first line 'dawning of aquarius'...thats beautiful! =]

    Like pure water from heaven above,
    You drench your lover with translucent love.
    It's like drowning in a clear stream,
    You have come to me in a dream.
    ^^I totally adore the first two lines of this stanza, they're definately my favourite.. but i have to say, the last line seems a bit forced, like it waswritten just to stick with the rhyme scheme, maybe i'm wrong, but it just seemed a bit off, not flowing perfectly with the stanza...but still overall its very well written.
    To be honest i felt a bit paranoid writing this, because i am just a student to poetry still; your experience in poetry are ofcourse very much more advanced then mine...but i thought i'd give a very honest comment here; so i spilled my thoughts on your beautiful write..=]
    I owed this comment a while ago, i'm sorry it took so long for me to come round to it!
    MEZi..x

  • 15 years ago

    by Meme

    Wow this is really an amazing piece
    Looking forward to ur new poems

    Take care