In ( any) war there are just losers Temps....both parties lose in some way or the other.

I am a hot head myself, so I am probably not the best person in the world to advice you on this, but battles of whatever kind are not good.

When facing dilemma's we should always try to talk it out instead of fight. I try to live by these words as well, but it's hard when some people know how to push all the wrong buttons. I may decide to get a whole new switch board, lol.

The poem was presented well on the page, also good wording, clear picture of what you were trying to convey as well.

Leaving me
wonder--why did
I ever go to war?
At least I was
victorious...right?

^^

This reminds me of the saddest words I ever heard someone say:" sometimes you win, but you lose". It is not always worth it to have it out with the other, even when you feel you are right. Some words have the power to destroy a relationship beyond repair. So, then both parties may agree you indeed were right, but what good does that do you, when the other walks out of your life after that?

Well written.

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

The title was neutral for me. Didn't hate it but didn't love it.

"I tend to wrestle
with my emotions"
^Great way to open. Caught my eye and made me want to read more.

"sometimes they
tangle themselves"
^I didn't like both "sometimes" and "themselves" here together. They threw off the flow for me.

"into a cluster; so
I have to pry them"
^Loved "cluster" and "pry" But I didn't like the word "so" Youre a better poet then that.

"they gang up on
me,"
^Too cliche.

"forming a vicious
army of confusion-"
^Loved that. Very unique.

"that a bullet of such
extreme power is
just enough to force
them to succumb"
^Didn't like it at all. Seemed too forced. Read over it a few times and you can change it.

"The aftermath is
bittersweet--relief
so soothing; yet--
there's still that
ounce of regret"
^Love it,

"for I have nothing
to feel; I'm rather
numb; emotions
are splattered with
colorless blood..."
^You're repeating yourself here. In my opinion it would sound better without the first two lines.

"Leaving me
wonder--why did
I ever go to war?
At least I was
victorious...right?"
^Loved that you ended with a question. Keeps the reading wondering in the end.

I like to see you trying new things Temps. Its great to see a poet grow and test the waters. This one was good but make some of the changes and it will be great.

"I tend to wrestle
with my emotions--"

This was a perfect beginning opening, I love the wording you used, it caught my eye.

"seldomly they
tangle themselves
into a cluster;"

Very descriptive, I love "tangle" and "cluster", well done so far.

"that
I have to pry them
apart with the tool
of inner strength."

I liked how you change "so" to "that", it reads a lot better. I thought these lines were very unique, you really amazed me with this one Temps!

"They swarm around"

Love the action verb "swarm", creates much imagery.

"me, forming a vicious
army of confusion--"

Another unique line, "army of confusion" was so well written, I never would have thought of that.

"that a bullet of such
extreme power is
just enough force
to make them stumble
to their own death."

This is such a captivating piece, each line is deep and strikes the reader.

"The aftermath is
bittersweet--relief
so soothing; yet--
there's still that
ounce of regret--
I'm rather numb;
emotions are
splattered with
colorless blood..."

Well expressed feelings and the imagery portrayed was so strong here.

"Leaving me
wonder--why did
I ever go to war?
At least I was
victorious...right?"

I love how you ended with a question, it has the reader thinking and add a nice touch.

Overall, 5/5 from me. I am happy to read a new one from you, glad you got inspired!

Have a good week..

~MaryAnne

I forgot to mention, that in the ending, I really like how you asked yourself that question, why did you ever go to war? It brings a hint of unsureness and regret. And then in those last two lines you try to wipe that guilt away, but in that last word, your unsureness shows.

A wonderful write. Keep it up!

A good write. A+ for originality and emotions.
Can't think tonight so I'll just say good job.

I think we are all at war with ourselves at times in life and are never sure whether we have won or lost. It produces regrets. Well done.

My initial reaction as i read the last stanza: waow, now thats what real poetry's all about! =] Honestly speaking, i try hard to find a flaw or suggest an improvemnt in what i read, but that is very difficult with your poems!
your metaphors and imagery painted a very realistic scene, which complimented the title perfectly. the creativity is awesome, how you or your inner strength at at war with your very emotions, and the numbness that follows is the aftermath...just... speechless. I can relate as i'm sure many others can to all the feelings this poem has expressed.
you put common feelings/emotions/experiences with all its creativity, into writes which can truly inspire. I love your work.
Don't stop writing.

take care,
MEZi..x